


always (no matter what)

by costia_gray



Series: I Want To Be Your Home [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Earth, College, Earth-94, Emotions, F/F, First Kiss, Light Angst, Moving Out, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 06:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18515809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/costia_gray/pseuds/costia_gray
Summary: “Hey,” she said quietly. She reached out, cupping Kara’s chin in one hand and forcing Kara to look at her. Kara’s eyes were wet with unshed tears, and when she tried to squeeze her eyes shut against them, a few immediately began slipping down her cheeks.“Kara,” Alex breathed, cupping Kara’s cheeks in her hands. Her chest felt tight, heavy, as she gently brushed the younger girl’s teardrops away with her thumbs. “Do you have any idea how much I’m gonna miss you?”Timeline: September 18th, 2007





	always (no matter what)

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been written in the past two days and was nowhere near as heavily edited as usual, so apologies if it feels clunky or too wordy. It wasn't intended to be Kalex, but apparently, I can't help it.
> 
> Also, I have a thing for italics.
> 
> Disclaimer: I know literally nothing about punching, broken bones or college since I've experienced none of these things.

Alex had known for weeks this day was going to be tough — not just for her but for her whole family. Being accepted into the school of her dreams was _incredible._ She couldn’t remember feeling more elated than the day she’d received her acceptance letter from Stanford. Eliza’s praise and Kara’s sweet words had filled the void left by Jeremiah’s absence. They were proud of her, Alex knew that, and overwhelmingly happy for her. But the look on Kara’s face… Alex knew it was going to be difficult for Kara. For both of them.

In the past few years, after Kenny’s death had pushed them together again and Alex realized just how _shitty_ she’d been to Kara, they’d become completely inseparable. The Danvers sisters had become well known for their seemingly unbreakable bond around Midvale. Kara was the best friend she’d ever had, the person Alex loved most in the world, the absolute best part of her life. There were still some hurdles — she was sure there always would be — but Kara was so much more than a sister to her. Leaving wasn’t going to be easy. Just thinking of being away from Kara was painful.

So, she’d pushed it to the side and let them both live in ignorance for a little while. She and Kara talked about everything, but they’d very intentionally skirted around talk of Stanford in the months after her acceptance. The last time they’d spoken about it was after prom. They’d gone home together and Kara had asked her to stay and cried in her arms before falling asleep in her bed. That had only cemented Alex’s resolve not to talk about it again until she had to. She’d watched her sister’s heart break in her arms and it _hurt_. She’d come to take great pride in protecting Kara’s heart, in keeping her safe in every possible way, but she couldn’t take this pain away when she was the reason for it.

It wasn’t until the week before she was due to start school and Eliza had insisted she start packing that they spoke of it again. Alex made every promise she could think of — they could text message constantly, instant message on AOL, talk on the phone every day, even Skype as much as she could manage. Kara would nod and give her this sad smile, but she hadn’t cried once. If Alex hadn’t known any better, she’d think Kara had accepted it.

The trouble was that Kara was _quiet_. And when Kara was quiet, there was undoubtedly something wrong. Alex prodded her to talk about it a few times. Avoiding it for so long had never been a healthy choice, but ignoring it when it was only days away was even worse. But Kara would just smile that same sad smile and shake her head and insist she was fine. She’d helped pack all of Alex’s things without protest, but even today, she barely spoke a word.

If it wasn’t for Kara, though, there was no way Alex would already be starting to unpack her multitude of boxes. Eliza had gently scolded Kara twice for carrying more than should be feasible from the truck, but Kara had just smiled sheepishly and tried to take it down a notch. She hadn’t tried _hard_ — Alex had caught her overdoing it again not fifteen minutes later — but she’d made an effort for a little while.

The sun was setting when they started saying goodbyes, walking out in front of Alex’s building together. After they’d shared an early dinner, her mom and Kara were on their way back to the hotel, then home to Midvale in the morning. Alex was going to be completely on her own for the very first time. She was actually pretty terrified, but she was trying to hide it for her mom’s sake. She put on her bravest smile, the one she’d perfected in the years since her dad’s death, and whispered _I love you_ into her mother's ear when Eliza hugged her.

When her mom pulled away, stroking her long hair back from her face, Alex kept that brave smile on for her, but her eyes shifted to Kara, standing in silence behind her mother, playing with the hem of her shirt. Eliza looked between her two girls and excused herself to pull the car around. Alex shot her a grateful look as she walked away, giving Alex a few precious moments alone with her foster sister.

Kara was looking determinedly at her feet, and Alex frowned when she realized Kara was still being weird. She knew how much Kara was hurting, and she knew when Kara was hurting, she shut down so she wouldn’t feel weak. But Alex was feeling weak, too. She’d been strong for so long, not wanting to give Kara any reason to be scared or upset before she needed to be. Now, though, she was starting to freak out, and more than anything, she needed Kara to just be _Kara_ , even if it was selfish.

“Hey,” she said quietly. She reached out, cupping Kara’s chin in one hand and forcing Kara to look at her. Kara’s eyes were wet with unshed tears, and when she tried to squeeze her eyes shut against them, a few immediately began slipping down her cheeks.

“Kara,” Alex breathed, cupping Kara’s cheeks in her hands. Her chest felt tight, heavy, as she gently brushed the younger girl’s teardrops away with her thumbs. “Do you have any idea how much I’m gonna miss you?”

Kara sniffled, surging forward and hugging Alex just shy of inhumanly tight. Alex hugged her back with all of her strength, grinning when Kara allowed herself, just for a moment, to be lifted a bit off her feet. Her hands drifted up and down Kara’s back, tracing soft, mindless patterns into the fabric of the dark blue tank top she wore — Alex’s, long ago stolen and claimed by Kara as her own.

She knew how this had to look from an outside perspective. Kara was her sister (her _literal alien foster sister_ but still _sister_ ), and they were holding each other much more intimately than that. It probably looked like she was saying goodbye to a girlfriend. It kind of _felt_ like she was saying goodbye to a girlfriend, and the thought was thrilling and scary and confusing and utterly heartbreaking all at the same time.

“You can’t go,” Kara said, her voice muffled against Alex’s neck. She pulled back, resting their foreheads together and clutching Alex’s shoulders. “I don’t know how to be without you.”

“You can do this,” Alex whispered fiercely, her fingers finding their way into Kara’s long blonde hair. “You are the strongest person I’ve ever met. I know you can do this. Don’t let those assholes at school get you down, okay? You’re _better_ than them, Kara.”

“But Alex—”

“And if Eddie so much as looks at you the wrong way, I will fly down there and break his nose again. Happily.”

Kara let out a watery chuckle and Alex grinned, patiently brushing the falling tears off her sister’s cheeks. She loved making Kara smile, making her laugh. She had been a bitch to her after her dad’s death for too long, and she’d been trying earnestly to be better since they’d reconciled. Kara had insisted it was okay, that she would never hold it against her, but Alex always told her she didn’t want to be excused. She just wanted to make Kara feel happy and loved and safe.

“You broke your hand,” Kara reminded her. She lifted said hand from her face and traced the long scar on the back of Alex’s hand where the bone had broken through the skin. Alex swore her heart zoomed into her throat when Kara tenderly kissed the scar; her cheeks definitely got hot.

“Yeah, I did. But you know how I feel about that.” She fixed Kara with a soft look. Just thinking about that particular incident still made her temper flare. “He was bothering you and trying to touch you even though you were trying to get away. I would do the same thing every single time. You’re completely worth it.”

Kara’s eyes met hers, and Alex could see the love and hope written in them plainly. She squeezed her formerly broken hand around the strong one holding it, the other sliding around Kara’s neck, urging her impossibly closer.

“I know you’re going to love it here, and you’re going to make so many new friends and have so many new experiences, and I’m so happy for you.” Kara’s voice was sincere, her gaze loving and open, a tiny little smile on her lips. Alex believed she meant all of that. She was so good and giving and genuine and Alex knew without a shadow of a doubt she didn’t deserve any part of her.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

Kara nodded, smiling a fuller smile now, her eyes never once leaving Alex’s. “But I need you to promise you won’t forget about me or leave me behind. I couldn’t take it, Alex. I can barely take this right now.”

“Kara…” Alex watched Kara’s smile start to fade, her heart pounding in her ears. She was a breath away from assuring Kara she would never do any of that, not in a million years, when Kara spoke again.

“Alex, please.” Kara’s eyes were wide and pleading. She was clearly afraid Alex would reject her, and Alex gave her hand another squeeze she hoped was comforting. “I love Eliza. She’s been so good to me. But _you’re_ my home. I can’t lose another home.”

For a moment, Alex couldn’t breathe, and her heart literally skipped a beat. (The frantic look in Kara’s eyes and the way she quickly pressed a hand to Alex’s chest confirmed she wasn’t just imagining it; Kara had _heard_.) Their bond these past few years was the closest and most intimate connection Alex had ever shared with another person. But to hear Kara describe it this way, to tell Alex with such raw emotion in her voice that she was Kara’s _home_ … The response it was igniting inside her was intense.

She was Kara’s home. Not this planet, not their house in Midvale, not even her mom, who she knew Kara adored. _Alex._ Alex was her home. She couldn’t think of a higher honor than that.

With a small, shuddering breath, Alex did what her instincts were screaming at her to do. She tugged Kara in with the hand on her neck and kissed her. Soft at first, then firmer when Kara’s hand slipped from her chest and both arms wrapped around her waist while determined lips moved against hers.

Alex felt like she should be freaking out, that her mind should be berating her, telling her this was her _sister_ and she couldn’t _do this_. But it never happened. She felt almost overwhelmingly happy. Like this was _right_ and what she hadn’t even realized had been missing between them for so long.

“Alex,” Kara whimpered, tears streaming down her cheeks again.

“I will never forget you. I will never leave you. I will have your back no matter what. And I promise I will come home to you. I want to be your home, Kara. Always.”

“Always?” Kara’s voice wavered, the word soft and tentative like she couldn’t believe it was true.

Alex wiped Kara’s cheeks clean of tears, smiling and looking into those big blue eyes. She swore Kara’s answering smile was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

She pressed her forehead to her sister’s, brushing another lingering kiss against her lips.

“Yeah. Always.”


End file.
